My mum tells me not to be afraid of her leaving me with no money, but it doesn't seem that way. Just today she told me to pay for my psychiatrist, blocking me from accessing the bacno's mobile phone as if I were a compulsive consumerist.

She does it just like her father; I don't know how she doesn't see it. Or she must see it and not give a damn.

The clan had once seemed like an opportunity to escape, and it fell apart; as did any job and any way of earning my own money; as did a possible marriage so that my mum would stop saying that I depend on her because she's my only family... Everything is going wrong and I don't know what to do anymore.

I need to get out of this suffocation caused by her boot around my neck, and I don't know what else to do. There's nothing to do in terms of prayer or spirituality. Everything is wrong. Everything is going wrong. Everything, everything, everything, everything.......................................................................................................................................