Category: May

Will I spend another Valentine's Day like Hephaestus - being "engaged" but alone?

May 26th, 2024
```
"If one day you have to choose between the world and love, remember: if you choose the world, you will be without love, but if you choose love, you will conquer the world with it." 
Albert Einstein, physicist.
```
Today I woke up with a restless feeling in my head. I don't want to pressurise A. into anything and I won't. I'll just send messages wishing my favourite Arian (and the only Arian I like) good luck in his battles at the beginning and end of the week, telling him to celebrate his small victories.

But... I started to wonder if I'm going to spend another Valentine's Day alone. This would be the first one I've actually spent with someone I love, and it's on the 12th. Every 12th, since 12/11, something important has happened in my life. This would be my first Valentine's Day as a witch, and it would be very meaningful if I spent it with him.

I won't ask him anything until at least the week of the 12th. He's not well and I'm not the one who's going to pressurise him into going on a date. Even more so with someone for whom he may no longer have any love interest.

I hope he's better... for him, not for me, and definitely not for us. Fuck that it's my first Valentine's Day as a witch, he matters more to me than this milestone.

Blessed be.

Read more:
The Goddess, the Warrior and the Promise

May 23rd, 2024
```
"Persistence is the path to success." 
Charlie Chaplin, artist.
```
Maybe it's just not meant to be.

I still love him. A., I mean. But something is obviously preventing him from being with me 100%, and I'd like to help him overcome that barrier, but, Aryan that he is, he won't let anyone see him battling and perhaps being defeated even temporarily, especially not his romantic partner. When would Ares let Aphrodite see him lose, right?

I miss him and worry about him, but I drew on the cards that the relationship will be stabilised by August. Although I can't help and support him during this war for independence and freedom from his mother's control and oppression, I understand why he doesn't want me to be around.

Even more so with me, perhaps being the trigger for such a "final battle" against the old-fashioned and oppressive traditions placed in his upbringing by his mother and his mother's religion. With his Moon in Taurus, it's easy to understand that his emotions spiral when he's not in control. And it's easy to understand that his mother is also a very strong Taurean presence in his life and routine.

Precisely because I love him, I know him well enough to say that I know and I have certainty that he has the courage and strength to win such a battle and conquer the war. He's a warrior, he's achieved so much, and I'm so proud of him for it.

He wasn't chosen by my soulmate for nothing - he's a warrior, strong, protective, loyal, loving and brave just like T. is. And I love them both with all my heart.

As the Maha Lilah said: have faith in Divine Providence. As the I-Ching said: "The woman remains loyal to her dead husband. Even if she would prefer to see with both eyes, she does the best she can with the sight she has left." And I believe in the Goddess, the Coniferous God, Lilah (the dancing force that creates the Universe) and T.

I promised T. last night that I would do my utmost every day to evolve more and more as a person, a wife, a mum and a witch. And I plan to keep my word. When I promise something, it's a guarantee of fulfilment. And so it is above, as it is below.

Blessed be.
How do I balance my concern (and anxiety) about my.... and respect for his privacy?

May 17th, 2024

It's very difficult to love someone as much as I realise I love A. today.

Suddenly, at 10 p.m., I felt in my soul a gigantic anxiety and an absurd need to check on A's well-being:

? How is he feeling at the moment?
Result: Hexagram 6 - Conflict

This print run worried me too much, so I started with the cards. I drew a lot of cards, but a lot. If I summarise the interpretations, I had a fight with his mother about going out after the ballet (he may have been scolded for being late to go to his grandmother's house, which was actually my fault).

As for what Gypsy Magdalene suggests I do to help you wake up...

The Letter + The Woman + The Heart + The Ring + The Birds

As I understand it, I'm supposed to communicate with him vocally, because I'm the one he's in a romantic relationship with. Which implies place. But he's a busy person, and tomorrow he works...

In the end, what can't you do for love?

I meditated at 11.30 p.m. asking for guidance so that I could help the one who has my heart in this life (to make sure it didn't fall on T.).

And to my surprise... the person who came to talk to me was Bel. Belenus, God of the Sun, Fire, companion of the Goddess. His presence is both comforting and terrifying, given the power he undoubtedly has in his existence.

The Fire Lord told me to lose my fear, let the Sun purify my anxiety and call A. at 1pm under the light of the rising sun, because that's the peak of His power. He said that A. is in need of someone to bring the Sun to lighten the oppressive darkness that surrounds him at the moment, and that I'm the only one who cares enough about him to do it.

I asked Iansã and Aphrodite to soothe the pain of the one I love. They both frowned and told me that their domains (the storm, the winds, love, the tide) are neither afraid nor ask for permission, and advised me to call, as it was the consolidation of my concern for the one who occupies my mind uninterruptedly.

I have to swallow my fear and anxiety and hope that everything works out. I hope it does. So be it, and so it shall be.

Especially today, may you be blessed.

Solitaire Witchcraft - The lonely path under Hekate's torches

Category: May

Will I spend another Valentine's Day like Hephaestus - being "engaged" but alone?

Read more:

The Goddess, the Warrior and the Promise

How do I balance my concern (and anxiety) about my.... and respect for his privacy?

? How is he feeling at the moment?
Result: Hexagram 6 - Conflict

The Letter + The Woman + The Heart + The Ring + The Birds

Your basket (items: 0)

Category: May

Will I spend another Valentine's Day like Hephaestus - being "engaged" but alone?

Read more:

The Goddess, the Warrior and the Promise

How do I balance my concern (and anxiety) about my.... and respect for his privacy?

? How is he feeling at the moment? Result: Hexagram 6 - Conflict

The Letter + The Woman + The Heart + The Ring + The Birds

? How is he feeling at the moment?
Result: Hexagram 6 - Conflict