Solitaire Witchcraft - The lonely path under Hekate's torches

Tag: Love

Will I spend another Valentine's Day like Hephaestus - being "engaged" but alone?

May 26th, 2024
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"If one day you have to choose between the world and love, remember: if you choose the world, you will be without love, but if you choose love, you will conquer the world with it." 
Albert Einstein, physicist.
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Today I woke up with a restless feeling in my head. I don't want to pressurise A. into anything and I won't. I'll just send messages wishing my favourite Arian (and the only Arian I like) good luck in his battles at the beginning and end of the week, telling him to celebrate his small victories.

But... I started to wonder if I'm going to spend another Valentine's Day alone. This would be the first one I've actually spent with someone I love, and it's on the 12th. Every 12th, since 12/11, something important has happened in my life. This would be my first Valentine's Day as a witch, and it would be very meaningful if I spent it with him.

I won't ask him anything until at least the week of the 12th. He's not well and I'm not the one who's going to pressurise him into going on a date. Even more so with someone for whom he may no longer have any love interest.

I hope he's better... for him, not for me, and definitely not for us. Fuck that it's my first Valentine's Day as a witch, he matters more to me than this milestone.

Blessed be.

Read more:
The Goddess, the Warrior and the Promise

May 23rd, 2024
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"Persistence is the path to success." 
Charlie Chaplin, artist.
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Maybe it's just not meant to be.

I still love him. A., I mean. But something is obviously preventing him from being with me 100%, and I'd like to help him overcome that barrier, but, Aryan that he is, he won't let anyone see him battling and perhaps being defeated even temporarily, especially not his romantic partner. When would Ares let Aphrodite see him lose, right?

I miss him and worry about him, but I drew on the cards that the relationship will be stabilised by August. Although I can't help and support him during this war for independence and freedom from his mother's control and oppression, I understand why he doesn't want me to be around.

Even more so with me, perhaps being the trigger for such a "final battle" against the old-fashioned and oppressive traditions placed in his upbringing by his mother and his mother's religion. With his Moon in Taurus, it's easy to understand that his emotions spiral when he's not in control. And it's easy to understand that his mother is also a very strong Taurean presence in his life and routine.

Precisely because I love him, I know him well enough to say that I know and I have certainty that he has the courage and strength to win such a battle and conquer the war. He's a warrior, he's achieved so much, and I'm so proud of him for it.

He wasn't chosen by my soulmate for nothing - he's a warrior, strong, protective, loyal, loving and brave just like T. is. And I love them both with all my heart.

As the Maha Lilah said: have faith in Divine Providence. As the I-Ching said: "The woman remains loyal to her dead husband. Even if she would prefer to see with both eyes, she does the best she can with the sight she has left." And I believe in the Goddess, the Coniferous God, Lilah (the dancing force that creates the Universe) and T.

I promised T. last night that I would do my utmost every day to evolve more and more as a person, a wife, a mum and a witch. And I plan to keep my word. When I promise something, it's a guarantee of fulfilment. And so it is above, as it is below.

Blessed be.
May couldn't have taken longer, but it's already arrived with a bang!

May 6th, 2024

I can't describe what seeing A. again did to me... Wow, it's so good just to look at him. Just hearing him sing there without him even knowing I was there was enough, but when my friend denounced my presence and he came to talk to me...

He said he'd come to the café on the Wednesday after school to see me and spend some time with me, but as he says, he's the Knight of Hearts: he makes promises with great intentions of keeping them, but he never manages to fulfil them because something always stops him, and it's not because he doesn't want to.

He told me himself that if I had called him when he was missing, he would have picked up. Now I've learnt my lesson. I'll call him on Wednesday afternoon, around 4pm, and ask if he's really coming. If he doesn't, I'll suggest something for us to do. I want to be there for him more. I want to remind him that he's not alone. Even if I'm not the company he wants... I don't know, he said it was great to see me and that seeing me yesterday gave him strength for today, even if passively. I hope he continues to feel that way... All I want is to see him well, with or without me.

Blessed be.

Tag: Love

Will I spend another Valentine's Day like Hephaestus - being "engaged" but alone?

Read more:

The Goddess, the Warrior and the Promise

May couldn't have taken longer, but it's already arrived with a bang!